Yes, we’ve been hearing about the importance of your vote, the fact that it does count and the impact it can create. News rooms have been ‘buzzing’ with the thought that ‘India needs an answer’ to corruption, potholed roads, education, food, water and blah! But does it feel like you need more choice to vote for.
We’ve put up a quick and quirky list of seven celebrities who could be handed certain Government portfolios and positions and why they would most likely suit the bill! So while you ‘Rock your vote’; read this. Statutory warning: If you love politics, leave your ‘intellectual self’ at home.
All ministries need a Speaker of the Lok Sabha who among other things, maintains discipline and decorum in the house and can punish a member for their unruly behaviour by suspending them. Going by what we’ve seen, we clearly needed someone who can get people to ‘shut up’ when the time is right and hence, our natural choice is ‘Sonakshi Sinha’. Not only is she brave enough to face a ‘thappad’ herself, but one stern look from those oh-so-beautiful eyes will send the right message. Plus, having papa by her side saying ‘Khamosh’, will definitely add a feather to her cap. In the rare cases that this does not work, she can always borrow a ‘Bullet’ from her ‘Raja’. Problem solved.
Next up, the ‘Ministry of Civil Aviation’ which has among other responsibilities is in charge for overseeing airport facilities, air traffic services and carriage of passengers and goods by air. Now before you jump to conclusions, let us assure you that there is no one better than Hrithik Roshan [a.k.a. Krrish] to handle this job. Why? For starters he is a superhero, looks superhot and definitely someone you’d like to have on a ‘vote for me’ poster campaign. Wait! That’s not it. The real reason is that he has first-hand experience [second only to Superman] in safely landing a plan after getting onto it mid-air and ensuring that all passengers are safe and sound. You bring us a minister who’s been there and done that, and we’ll consider. Until then it’s Hrithik all the way!
Then there is the ‘Heavy Industries & Public Enterprises Minister’ portfolio. Yes, we do have one. For the un-initiated, this is the Government arm that administers certain large enterprises and assists them in improving capacity, generate resources and reorient strategies. Well, it’s quite literally a heavy job to do and so, we’ve decided to award this to our very own ‘Sunny Paaji’. From being an ‘Arjun’ for society in his very first few films to fighting for justice with his heavy ‘Dhai Kilo ka haath’ [Read as heavy hand], who better than to take this up. Sunny, aap aage badho! We’ll nominate you.
There is absolutely no doubt in our mind on the next one i.e. The ‘Ministry of External Affairs’ which for lack of a better explanation is responsible for the conduct of India's relations with foreign countries and for our representation in the United Nations. While they also advise other Ministries and State Governments on foreign dealings, you clearly need someone here who people will listen to. Or be blown away by how awesome they look and simply agree to everything they propose. This portfolio hence goes to the one and only ‘Katrina Kaif’. Three reasons; one - she’s from ‘the phoren’, two – she has relevant experience in ‘affairs’ with Indians and three – just look at her! How can you not want to listen and agree to anything she says? Huh?
While it’s no surprise that the ‘Ministry of Culture’ (Read: संस्कृति मंत्रालय) is charged with preservation and promotion of art and culture, they also have a set ‘Sanskriti Darpan’ that outlines tours that one can take to understand our culture and heritage. No brainer though! This one goes to ‘Alok Nath’ the epitome of ‘Sanskar’ and tradition in Hindi movies. While you think of the last Alok Nath joke you’ve heard, let us tell you that he is clearly the most Sanskari [we’ve heard] man alive in Bollywood and while he may not want to take this portfolio up for all the lame jokes we’ve cracked, let’s just hand this over to him shall we?
When you start hunting for the next ‘Defence Minster’, you have to choose carefully. Not only are you in-charge of the safety of our country but your portfolio also has the largest budget. Plus you need to be someone who understands big guns and is not afraid to use them! We’d like no one else except ‘Deepika Padukone’ to take on this role you see. After playing ‘Goliyon ki raasleela’, shooting threats in ‘Chennai Express’ and having shown her dark side in ‘Cocktail’, this is one lady you do not mess with. People around the world, please note, Deepika is our new Defence minister. If you want more reasons, we have one. She’s quite the bomb herself!
We have the ministry and now it’s time to choose someone who leads this dynamic team. To be the ‘Prime Minister’ you need someone who is brave, stands for what is right and lives up to commitments you make. Someone who is ‘Ready’ to say ‘ek baar jo commitment kar di to main apne aap ki bhi nahin sunta’ and then, actually backs that up with an action oriented approach. Knows the fine line between being funny & diplomatic [we could use some] and being ‘Dabaang’ when needed. There you have it - Salman Khan. Daring, dashing and ready to voice his point of view while ensuring that he is actually being heard by the world, he is our favourite for this lead role. Jai Ho!
There you have it. Our recommendations for some real time change! Got more to add to this list? Tell us who and better, tell us why too!