7 Types Of Guys You’ll Meet When You Decide To Go In For An Arranged Marriage
Posted On 21st May, 2014 @ 16:53 pm by MTV Editor

When it comes to arranged marriages, the frequency of meeting weirdos would be way lesser given that your parents have already screened the entries. Or so you’d think.

At the onset, let it be known that we have absolutely nothing against arranged marriages. If reports are to be believed, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes didn’t have any problems with it and we’ve suffered through enough Bollywood movies to know that our life partner is hiding one precariously balanced tea tray away. Our only issue here is that, in real life, you have to go through plenty of frogs before you find your Tom Cruise. The idea of an arranged marriage may sound straight out a Bollywood film, but before you whip up a Sooraj Barjatya fairytale, keep an eye out and stay well away from these seven likely suspects who’ll turn up:

Mr. Moneybags

Everything from his clothes to his mobile phone to his car has been bought to advertise exactly how rich he is on his behalf - Although we are guessing the God complex that goes along with them wasn’t store-bought. The only reason he spared half an hour out of his daily job of running the planet and deigned to come is because his mother threatened him with bodily harm.

Stay Well Away: Unless being communicated with through condescending glances is your thing.




The Human Calculator

Sure, he came here to see you, but he’d just as soon marry your bank account. While the rest of the mortals go down the sundar, susheel route; this guy ends the hunt once he finds someone whose immediate family and direct relatives are comfortably settled, moneywise. Bonus points if that someone happens to be looking for a ghar jamaai.

Stay Well Away: Unless you are willing to hire someone to endlessly answering the question, “Iss ghar ki square footage kitni hai?’ on your behalf.




The Chronic Exaggerators

“Oh, I told you my height was 5’11”? I meant to say 5’7”. And I know I’m closer to 5’5” but chalta hai na yaar.” Call us psychic, but given his inability to measure inches properly, we can foresee some grave problems ten minutes into your wedding night.

Stay Well Away: Unless you’re up for a lifetime of anti-exaggeration tuitions - Not to mention, elementary math lessons.


The Spam Artists

He will have you stalked within an inch of your virtual life even before he’s set foot in your house and teatime conversation will revolve around why you haven’t accepted his Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat and BBM requests yet.

 Stay Well Away: Unless you’re really into the idea of painfully dissecting your long forgotten Orkut profile with your parents for company.




The Mama’s Boy

We’d tell you what exactly makes this type a strict no-no but unfortunately no one has ever seen more of him than the one square inch of forehead that is visible through his mom’s pallu.

Stay Well Away: Unless you are really desperate for an invite to K Jo’s adarsh beta club.




The London Return

If the recent Bollywood movie Queen is anything to go by, a trip abroad can be life-changing; although we draw at the line at suddenly acquired pseudo accents, the sudden inability to understand money matters  unless expressed in pounds and vocabularies that don’t extend beyond the words, ‘Yo’ and ‘Ssup.’

Stay Well Away: Unless you know, you don’t mind voluntarily downsizing your vocabulary to the words, “Yo dawg, ssup?”



The Interviewer

His superpower involves magically transporting you back to your campus interview days with an incessant barrage of questions that can last for hours together, depending on how long it takes for your willpower to crack and for you to upset the tea tray all over him.

Stay Well Away: Unless meticulously spelling out your personal five year plans and your career prospects is your idea of fun.



(Image Courtesy: ayeshaworldofdreams.tumblr, discodandiya, gifabulousanti, capturingbollywood, foreverbollywood)

Your reaction? 37 votes
  • 10

  • 6

  • 5

  • 8

  • 8


Love what we do? Be the first one to see it!

Sign up for exclusive updates
and freebies