Calendar Proposals For 2018 To Replace Your Boring Resolutions
Posted On 2nd January, 2018 @ 11:26 am by MTV Editor



Bored of the same 12 months every year? Need a month-long campaign to tell you what you should do during the month because you’ve become a slave to social media? Here are brand new names and campaigns for every month of the new year:


1. Jacket-free January

If you think making fashion statements solves real-life problems, then this is the month for you. Take a selfie while roaming around on a chilly January evening without a jacket to spread awareness about hypothermia. As with any other noble cause, don’t spread awareness for others, do it for yourself because by the end of the month you’ll need it.




2. Fevistick February

Inspired by Vivo Ghatkopar metro station, Fevistick February is all about sticking up for yourself. Forget spreading awareness and charity because that’s how you get hypothermia. Narcissism is the new empathy. Buy all the bread at your nearest grocery, sell them at your house for double the price. 




3. Mannequin March

Mannequin March is all about realising that mannequins are people too. Make placards and march (see what we did there) in protest for Mannequin Rights. Don’t you think their bald heads feel cold? How many mannequin lives will have to be ruined for the fashion industry?




4. Antarctic April

Every year many scientists go to Antarctica. They endure adverse circumstances for research purposes. This Antarctic April, take a moment to send a video to an Antarctic scientist and tell them, "It's been 2017 years and you have made zero scientific contributions except taking cute pictures of penguins. You guys have made scientific research sound like a task on Roadies and just like Roadies, it's getting embarrassing now. #StopActingCool #There'sNothingThereJustComeBack"





5. Misogynistic May

Instead of being an annoying misogynist throughout the year, why not be a proud misogynist on Twitter in May? Patriarchy can’t be overthrown in a day women, we have to take baby steps. And remember, real men don’t read what’s written in PS.



P.S.: Women, we’ve laid the trap. This May, keep those block buttons handy, we’re going to make Twitter great again!



6. Juvenile June

You must be tired after participating in month-long misogyny. At the same time, change is hard. So, let’s scrap the misogyny but you still get to be a juvenile person. Deal?



Don't know where to start? Dip your hands in Nutella before doing a handshake with someone you hate. 



7. Just Lie July

Truth is overrated and that’s a fact. This July, just lie! Don’t lie to attain something, lie because you should. Lie to exercise your creativity and improv skills. Think about it - once you lie in a conversation, it suddenly becomes more lively. You were having a mundane conversation about parrots until you said, “I taught a parrot how to talk and it told me about a murder it witnessed,” and now you’re justifying why parrots should be allowed as eyewitnesses in courts. That’s not a great lie but don’t worry, just lie!




8. Autoerotic August

This is applicable only for those people whose relationship didn’t survive Just Lie July. Currently, you are one Google search away from knowing what ‘autoerotic’ means and two Google searches away from engaging in its behavior.




9. Slaptastic September

Sometimes the people around you need to know that they are wrong and there's nothing better than a tight slap to make them see reason. Slaptastic September can makes certain news channels a lot more interesting - imagine Arnab Goswami talking like a regular calm person after getting 5 slaps on national television and tell me you don't feel a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart. It's Slaptastic September, the month your spouse has been eagerly waiting for!




10. Mocktober

Mocktober is self-explanatory unless you studied in a government school (that was an example, sorry). This Mocktober, let your wit and sarcasm free. Tweet to Chetan Bhagat that the only reason he writes books is so that other books on the shelf have something to lean on.



Don’t just be rude, make a day out of it. No, make 31 days out of it.



11. Nuclear November

Nuclear November is an attempt to raise money for poor countries who are still struggling to make their own nuclear weapons. People donate money, clothes and books to war-torn countries in the Middle-East. No one’s reading Chetan Bhagat during a war. Give them what they need, i.e., weapons. Send some cash, some before and after photos of Japan and some blueprints if you can find them.




12. Dharmendra December

Dharmendraji is not an actor, he is a phenomenon. Spend this Dharmendra December with him and his family members. Start off with Sholay and come full circle with Dev-D. Then, watch Gadar and realise that this month-long campaign stuff has gotten out of hand. This was fun but let’s switch back to regular months next year.



Which calendar proposal did you like the most? Have any suggestions? Let us know in the comments section below!


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