Are you tired of listening to the same old tripe Bollywood celebrities spew when they are quizzed on upcoming projects, their love lives or alleged feuds? Well, we are too!
This is our attempt to educate our celebrities that we know…we know everytime they try to evade a question with their rehearsed, unimaginative responses. Here’s a list of Shit Bollywood Celebrities Say:
1. “I have projects in the pipeline”
No, you don’t. In fact, at this point in time we’re pretty sure Kamaal R Khan has more prospects on the horizon than you. We’re pretty sure we’ve heard Preity Zinta, Viveik Oberoi, Mallika Sherawat and likes spout this drivel several times a year.
2. “We’re just friends”
No, you aren’t. Friends don’t make out with each other in MMS videos or get snapped hand in hand in exotic locations. Why is it so taboo to admit that you’re dating your co-star, unless ofcourse…you know…Harman Baweja.
3. “I don’t have a problem with *insert arch nemesis’ name*”
Yes, you do. The five hundred person film crew and their siblings and their neighbours know. Isn’t it smarter to admit that there is an on going feud instead of making underhanded comments? Oh well…at least we tried.
4. “I’ve got a lot of Hollywood offers…I’m just waiting for the right role”
No, you don’t. The only offer you’ve got from Hollywood is the Country Club pamphlet at your door. Don’t worry, we won’t judge you because Speilberg hasn’t offered you a film…we just judge you because of what you pull off in the films here!
5. “I live a regular life…I just want to media to stop scrutinizing my every move”
No, you don’t live a regular life. Regular lives include sweat, bad hair days and rickshaw rides which we don’t feel the need to tweet about! Also, if you don’t want the media to scrutinize your every move, how about not holding a press confrence to tell them to not scrutinize your every move.
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