Move too fast, you're a blur; too slow, no one cares.
Sometimes snap decisions can thrust our minds into working overtime, all the time. Decision, actions and the subsequent consequences are not easy factors to deal with. When we start to analyze and over analyze our lives, start to end, we end up facing a deluge of questions, far far away from any true answers.
Dear Urban Cupid,
I am 23 years old and I like girls, or at least I think I do. I have dated a lot of girls in my time; in fact, people call me a player. I am in a relationship right now and I’m happy. However, a couple of weeks ago, I was a party at a colleague’s house and a lot of alcohol was consumed. I ended up kissing my colleague, who happens to be a guy. A couple of people saw us but didn’t make any comments. Even though people aren’t harassing me or asking me intrusive questions, I can’t help but wonder whether I’m straight or not. I keep thinking what life would be like if I were gay. My relationship is suffering due to this. Please help!
I can’t take a call on what your sexual orientation is, having said that, I will serve up my analysis of your situation. I can’t promise a solution because that will only stem from you and your efforts of soul searching. Let’s look at the facts here – You say that you are in a relationship and you’re happy, you also say that you were quite the player and are quite evidently attracted to women; up until the inebriated night at your colleague’s home, you were quite clear about what your orientation is. You have had one kiss which may or may not be as significant as you think it is. The only advice I can give you is for you to stop overanalyzing things for that is only causing you distress and your relationship is going south. Experimentation in an inebriated state is not unheard of. I don’t suggest that you ignore your situation or your thoughts but you need to channel them correctly. I think if the incident is bothering you to this extent, you could meet with a therapist, just so you have a seasoned ear and professional advice.
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