7 Stages Of A Long Distance Relationship You Will Instantly Relate To
Posted On 24th May, 2017 @ 11:16 am by MTV Editor

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People often refer to relationships as roller coaster rides. A long distance relationship in particular, however, is like being stuck in traffic, but suddenly the air conditioner stops working and the windows won’t open. And though we all know this, we put ourselves through it anyway. Here's how it typically goes down:


1. Day 0
Him: I’m going to America to study for two years. (I don’t have the courage to break up with you.)
Her (I don’t have the courage to break up with you either, so let’s just say…): My love for you knows no distance.
Him: Let’s do this!

 

 

 

 

They have about the same foresight as a guy driving in ghats, blindfolded.

 

2. One month later...
Him: It’s going pretty well. (I think we are too good to be challenged by long distance.)
Her: Yeah, it’s going great. We can handle this. (I don’t know why our stupid, naïve friends were warning us against this.)

 

 

This temporary optimism is comparable to jumping off a cliff and feeling happy about not dying immediately, while completely disregarding the eventual ‘hitting rock-bottom’ part.

3. Four months into it...
Him: This is getting tough, na? (I always wondered what an eternity in hell would feel like. I'm beginning to get an idea.)
Her: Yeah, just a little tough. (I feel like, in comparison, it would tickle to walk on flames.)

point 3

 

 

Her: But I still love you.
Him: I love you too. (Wait a second, what do you mean by ‘STILL love you’!?)

4. First meeting after four months
Him: It feels so great to meet after four months! (I'd forgotten what you really look like!)
Her: Yes! Feels so nice to hold your hand again. (What was I even thinking when I said yes to this guy?)
Him: You do realise that I have to go back in a few days?
Her:

 

 

 

5. Six months in...

Him: Meh, long distance... been there, done that. (We have it figured out this time, the trick is to not tell her when I talk to my female friends.)
Her: Exactly. We managed four months just fine, we can power through four more, NBD. (I am installing Tinder, though. Just for friends, it's totally harmless.)
 
Because where’s the fun in simply having the break-up conversation when everyone is calm?

 

 

 

 

6. First WhatsApp War
Him: You messaged “gm” instead of “Good Morning” today, what’s wrong?
Her: Your “Good Night” had only 37 hug emojis, usually you send 40, so you tell me what’s wrong.

 

 

Him: Ok, I’m sorry. (Why did I just say sorry!? This is so dumb! She’s dumb.)
Her: Don’t say sorry if you don’t mean it. (You better be sorry. Ugh, why didn’t my friends stop me when I agreed to this long distance crap!?)

 

7. One year later...
Him: ... (Are roses black in colour or is it just me? Are you even real? We haven’t had a video chat in months, what if I’ve been talking to a robot all this time?)
Her: ... (We have suffered too much to give up now.)
Him: ... (People say love is a magical feeling. I assume by "magic" they mean dragging this thing on reluctantly till one of you caves and taps out.)

 

 

 

In conclusion, the recipe for a long distance relationship is two equal parts of stupidity and desperation. The essential ingredient is perseverance and you can add love, if any, as dressing, swaad anusaar.

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