If you’re looking to get a second date, that is.
If randomly spending the big bucks on fancy dinners for dates that won’t progress beyond the first one is your idea of fun, then by all means, drop all these twelve bombs on the first date:
“Our children would look really cute.”
There are about a billion lists on how to not muck things up on the first date. And this critical faux pas is listed on the top of all of them. We checked.
“No, seriously. How come you’re still single?”
Slow down, Sherlock. Try losing that suspicious look and perhaps you won’t end up having to pay the bill after she storms out.
“I used to come here with my ex all the time.”
Ouch. If you were really looking to inform your date that they are nothing but a rebound, there have got to be kinder ways of doing it.
“Ha ha. That stupid third date rule. You don’t believe in it, do you?”
Yes, we agree that every guy has got his own unique style when it comes to charming the ladies, but letting your date know that you’re only in it for the action? Adolescent teenagers probably have more finesse than that.
“So… Who is going to pay for tonight?”
You. For all nights in the foreseeable future, seeing as you’re going to be spending them alone.
So perhaps sitting with a poker face isn’t as bad as jabbering nervously about the weather, but trust us, it’s right in that neighborhood.
“You want to know something more about me? Well, some people might say I am clingy…”
No. Just no. Even if you’re the living reincarnation of the Overly Attached Girlfriend, this piece of info definitely falls under the need-to-know category.
“I’ve decided that I want to get married in the next six months.”
You might as well have decided to meet at a bridal shop and invited a pandit along to your date if you were indeed looking to add pressure to an already tenuous situation.
“How many exes have you had?”
Unless you’re an undercover sociologist researching ways to make already awkward situations worse, save this line for once the two of you are well-settled in the relationship.
“You won’t believe it, but I met this totally crazy chick at the club last night.”
No, we aren’t saying that you aren’t allowed to boast about the other, hotter alternatives you have. All we are saying is that perhaps you could have just stayed on with her rather than wasting your current date’s time.
“No offence, but you look really different in your Facebook profile pictures.”
And you don’t look like a crazed stalker in your profile pictures either. But well, here we are.
“Your friend in all your profile pictures is really cute. What’s her name?”
Her name is Not Interested. And yours ought to be Jackass. Wanna cut this date short and meet up with a lawyer so we can begin the legal procedures needed to make the change?
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