People come and people go, it is the norm of life. At least, we try to believe it is.
It is a rather tedious task to let go of people. We grow weary of relationships, angers flare or we simply get bored but there is always a knot in our hearts that refuses to yield to our ominous logic. We are smart beings, inherently, but somehow along the way our experiences or lack thereof make us silly and wayward. When we want to rid ourselves of the ghost of relationship’s past, we have two options. One, we completely detach from the said human being, sullenly refuse to answer calls and incessant text messages. Two, we make the tough decision to act like an adult and talk the abandoned through the process of separation. The process of making this decision is not easy, so let me try helping my dear lovers through this process.
Dear Urban Cupid,
I was in an intimate relationship with a man for over two years. We loved each other deeply; we couldn’t stand to be apart from each other for more than a day. We constantly called and messaged each other when we couldn’t meet. He held me when I was low and he made me laugh. We went through a rough patch towards the end of two years and I tried really hard to salvage the situation but it continued going downhill. We started to fight regularly and I couldn’t feel the warmth in his voice let alone his touch. He doubted me about everything. Then one morning after I returned from a trip to my hometown, I saw that he had packed all of his things and left. I tried calling him, messaging him, countless emails were written, his friends refused to give me his whereabouts. It was he like vanished into thin air; it was like we never existed. It’s been seven months since this incident and I still cry myself to sleep. I am so hurt that I feel like I can’t function, I don’t think anyone can love me. I want to hide forever, can anybody help me?
I am deeply hurt by just reading about your predicament, so I can only imagine what you are going through. It is extremely difficult to face the end of the relationship especially when it ends on a note like this. Let me be frank, this man, you speak of, is no gentleman and is definitely a coward. No man or woman has the right to disappear from someone’s life without giving a valid explanation; it just isn’t the decent thing to do. Every person in a relationship is entitled to respect and compassion, this entitlement wasn’t offered to you and for that I feel sorry. As for how you feel, the only thing you should focus on is yourself, your happiness. Indulge in your hobbies, play a sport or learn how to play an instrument, these suggestions may seem extremely superficial but they work wonders as distractions. Eventually, you will give into your happiness and these, seemingly superficial, achievements will hold you in good stead. I’m sure you are a lovely woman with a lot to offer to your friends and in relationships alike. Till you aren’t sure you can give yourself wholeheartedly to someone or to a relationship, hold on to your friends, they’ll make your world a better place sans the drama. Chin up and hold tight.
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