5 things to do before the apocalypse
Posted On 20th December, 2012 @ 13:28 pm by Hasina Khatib

We’ve prepared an easy to use, DIY list of 5 things you absolutely must do before the Mayans come calling!

Avoid Twitter like the plague. Delete that YouTube app. Take our word on this one!

Some are clutching their hearts in fear of aliens swooping in any minute whereas others are twitching nervously at the thought of monstrous waves swallowing them up from behind. According to the word of some race that existed in the pre historic period, the world will enter self destruct mode on December the 21st, 2012.Which leaves us with precisely 24 hours before we all depart for The Unknown and suddenly all the grand plans of blowing money at a Vegas club have started seeming as unrealistic as Dolly Bindra ever sprouting a size zero. Far be it from us to challenge the authority of the mighty Mayans; in fact, we’ve prepared an easy to use, DIY list of 5 things you absolutely must do before the Mayans come calling:

#1 Re-watch 2012. Now. Yes, that sci-fi flick that Roland Emmerich made in 2009. The movie is a gold mine of survival tips. Go through it with a fine toothcomb & note the way John Cusack gets swallowed up by cracks in the earth’s crust, only to walk out two minutes later, hale and hearty. Beware of enigmatic Russian millionaires, though.

#2 Steer clear of Facebook. Avoid Twitter like the plague. Delete that Youtube app. Take our word on this one; spare yourself the trauma of having to spend your last day on earth surrounded by hysterical statuses like, “Oh em gee, mayans. Ew cant take away mah lyf lyk diz.”

#3 Watch Dabangg 2. Rush to the theatre closest to you and maybe if you’re lucky, they’ll manage to squeeze you in at the tail end of the first row. The world may be ending but that’s no reason for Arbaaz Khan’s bank balance to suffer. Watching the irrepressible Pandeyji in his element, even as Kareena Kapoor silkily demonstrates some creative uses for Fevicol; can you think of a better way to go?

# 4 Delete your browsing history. Best to leave the world with a clean state, with none being the wiser about what went down between you and your laptop.

#5 Gather your loved ones close.  Call up that ex you fought with and never spoke to since. Give your pesky younger brother one last bear-hug. Tear yourself away from all gadgets, in fact, you can feel free to hand over all your Notes and iPhones and Tabs to us. Just in case, this turns out to be true…. If a gruesome end awaits us, would you rather spend your last few hours clinging to some material goods or in the company of the ones who love you?

Follow this list and you’ll be able to embrace the end without any regrets. See you on the other side! Then again, maybe we’ll meet a lot sooner on 22nd December, when the Mayans officially get crowned as Troll Gods of the Century!


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