The Heroes India Needs But Not Necessarily The Ones It Deserves Right Now
Posted On 12th May, 2017 @ 15:40 pm by MTV Editor

Batman and Superman can't save our cities but we do need superpowers to fix this mess we’re in.

Batman and Superman can't save our cities but we do need superpowers to fix this mess we’re in. It's hard to recognise our superheroes, however, because they are shabbily dressed and underfunded compared to their American counterparts. Still, we managed to find seven new customised superheroes.



1. Arijit 'Humdard' Singh

While you are stuck in traffic, and are about to honk like never before, Arijit ‘Humdard’ Singh will appear to empathise. He will convert your honk into a soothing love song in real-time. It's a win-win situation: you get to express your anger without bothering other people, and pedestrians won't frown on you for being an impatient idiot, because they'll appreciate your taste in music instead.


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2. The Rickshaw Driver Who Never Says No

Rickshaw drivers are known for arbitrarily refusing to take passengers. But, there is one auto rickshaw driver who literally has "NEVER SAY NEVER" written on the back of his auto. He will overtake from the wrong side to be there for you when you need him. Plus, he has a sense of humour:


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3. The Impromptu Traffic Policeman

The impromptu traffic policeman is the common man who gets tired of being stuck in traffic and takes matters into his own hands. You might criticise his leadership skills, but when his work is done, all you want to say is:



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4. The Honest Government Employee

Her name cannot be revealed due to security purposes. She doesn’t even take a foot massage under the table. The only person on her ‘freebie list’ is Mahatma Gandhi. But she fights an uphill battle everyday:



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5. Kangana Ranaut

Kangana Ranaut is too cool to be a regular person, and so we think she has super powers—namely brutal honesty. She refused to do fairness cream ads because they were against her values, marking the only time the word ‘values’ was used in Bollywood. She called Karan Johar the ‘flag bearer of nepotism’ on his own show in a move that can only be described as badass.



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Damn right!



6. The Pani Puri Purifier

The Pani Puri Purifier has a dark past. He once had radioactive pani puri from a street vendor. He fell sick and struggled with diarrhea for two days. When he came out (of the toilet, and thus illness), he could purify pani puris just by touching the puri. UNESCO declared him as the best Pani Puri Purifier.


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As they say, with great pani puri, comes great power.



7. The Super Maid

Domestic help is one of the scarcest resources in India, right after compassion. Super Maid believed in Swacch Bharat before it was cool. When nobody’s watching, she plays Quidditch on her broom. 



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Not all superheroes wear capes, sometimes they wear colourful saris and clean the world one room at a time. The question is: Are you an awesome enough Indian to become one of them?

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