8 Types Of Facebook Live Commenters Who Have No Chill
Posted On 18th May, 2017 @ 16:47 pm by MTV Editor

All hail the Facebook Live.

All hail the Facebook Live (this is not a paid article, stick with us). Users have been able to document every part of the day as it unfolds, in real time, since August 2015—and while no one’s interested in what you and I are doing in, let’s say, a traffic jam, this feature has been a godsend for celebrities, who’re going live all the time now. And while the videos themselves are often pointless and bland, the comments section NEVER disappoints. From the guys who yell “FIRST TO COMMENT!” to those with an existential question for every occasion, here are the different species you’ll always find in the comments section of every Facebook Live. 

 

1. The Greeters

Hi. 

Hey!

Hiiii!

Hiiieee. 

The kickstarters. The ones with so many manners, they’re making up for everyone else. Also, how would a Facebook Live even start without at least three dozen greetings—from the same person. How much is too much? They’ll never know.

 

 

 

2. The Nerds

If you’re worried your pre-live posts announcing that you’re about to go Live are going unnoticed, don’t. Because this group is following closely. And god bless the Live host if The Nerd is actually excited about it. Because then s/he will spend hours Googling the sh*t out of things to quiz you about. These are the guys who will ask you a really long question, and intimidate you with the level of detail they have on you, making you think that maybe they know you better than you know yourself. 

 

 

 

3. The Say-My-Namers

Recognition and acknowledgement never comes easy, and these guys are living examples of that. They will pop up every six messages just to say, “say my name”, “please, say my name”, “please, Saaaaar, just say me hi once!” Should the Live host indulge by granting them this one wish, their life is made. “Being called out” can now be struck off their bucket list, Yamraj is now welcome to visit anytime. 

 

 

 

4. Fans

Close friends of The Nerds, only less intimidating. They will never share their research notes because they have only that one chance to show off how deeply they know the celebrity hosting the Live, casually throwing in details no one else knows. 

 

 

 

5. The Me Too-s

They are watching your Live because they have nothing better to do, and/or they are weak in the face of a FB Live notification. But they’re also so spaced out that they will neither read the questions, nor listen intently enough to know that the question they just asked has already been answered in this session…20 times.

 

 

 

6. The Haters

We all know them—they reign over the internet across all channels. Irrespective of what is being spoken about, they’re here only to point out mistakes. From the clothes the host is sporting to embarrassing examples of their past work to their personal life choices, they are there only to emphasise how useless everybody’s existence is. 

 

 

 

7. The Job Seekers

These guys’ desperation knows no end, and they will use any active channel to seek a job. We can’t tell if they’ve just been rejected so many times or if they’ve never held a job ever, or if they really think handing out resume/portfolio links on a Facebook Live is really going to work. We’d love to get in their heads to figure out what’s happening.

 

 

8. The Advertisers

Ok, we understand monthly/quarterly/yearly goals and the pressure it brings with it, but these guys are just the worst. Lose weight, gain hair, make your cat love you. They post their shit everywhere like a virus, why should a Live comments section be an exception?

Relatable? Tell us which one are you in the comment section.

 

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